Such a post as this should be made more clear via editing

Here’s a better title for this post: Editing for Clarity.

Writing concisely and clearly takes careful self-editing of your prose. Give your copy a makeover by looking at each individual sentence. Eliminate unnecessary words and jargon, replace complex words and phrases, and chop long sentences into shorter ones.

I chose this sentence from the Johnson & Johnson web site to make my point.

BEFORE: Our corporate giving is inspired by Our Credo responsibility to the communities in which we live and work, and to the world community as well.

Huh?

AFTER: Making a difference in our neighborhood, across the country and around the world matters to us.

BETTER STILL: Making a difference matters to us.

By JanO on 8/8/07, In Uncategorized, Tags advice, dialogue, editing, great copy, hate to write, how to write, how-to, ideas, non writers, self-publishing, shortcuts, typing