The Sixth Habit of Highly Effective Communicators

effective communication June 22nd, 2009

Here’s another installment in my continuing my series on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Communicators.

HABIT 6: SYNERGIZE
Covey calls this the habit of “creative cooperation,” meaning that together, two or more people can create something far better than any individual alone could possibly create. Rarely, however, do people think about “teamwork” in the context of effective communication. Why? Because generally they’re focused on themselves. Who they are. What they have to say. Why they’re important. But the opposite couldn’t be more true. In the case of effective communication, the way to generate creative cooperation is to promote, encourage and create dialogue. Then in that dialogue a really cool dynamic occurs … a message is sent, received AND understood.

How to incorporate it:
Always engage another person in your communication effort, whether it’s an editor, proofreader, colleague or customer. Involve at least one other person in writing the copy, preparing the speech or developing the script. My work portfolio is rife with really good – yet really collaborative – work. Yes, I write well. It’s my job and I take pride in doing great work. But my work is always, always made better through the addition of another perspective. I have creative teams, clients and even family members to thank for adding a new dimension to my writing. Don’t believe me? Pick up any book, fiction or nonfiction, and read the acknowledgements. It takes a team to be a best-selling author.

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The Fifth Habit of Highly Effective Communicators

effective communication June 15th, 2009

Here’s another installment in my continuing my series on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Communicators.

HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD
This habit is a biggie for those of us communicating to the masses — to the ofttimes nameless and faceless people we call our audience. It’s especially easy for us to do what Covey says most people do and that’s “listen with the intent to reply, not to understand.” But even though we usually cannot physically hear our audience, effective communicators must find ways to truly understand the meaning of what their audience would say if they could say it.

How to incorporate it:
First, make a conscious effort to set aside preconceived notions. Whether you’re speaking in front of a group, making a pitch to a new client or writing copy for your web site, do not assume you know everything your audience is thinking, feeling or doing. Of course you’ll want to anticipate the types of things they’d want to know, but don’t be so arrogant as to say things like “I know you’re thinking that …” You don’t know. Not for sure, anyway. So don’t say it.

Second, find a way to tap into your audience’s dialogue. Are they blogging, tweeting or putting up videos on YouTube? Can you read the emails they send customer service or listen in on phone calls with the sales team? What about reading comment cards, studying surveys and observing focus groups? Any means by which you can simply observe your audience will help you understand them.

Lastly, remember that this habit is about listening. (Really listening, not fake listening until you can say what you want to say.) Look at things from the audience’s vantage point and step back and wait. Digest the information you’re given. Don’t make judgments, ask questions, give advice or interpret the other person’s motives. Just take what you learn at face value before opening up the dialogue.

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The Fourth Habit of Highly Effective Communicators

effective communication June 8th, 2009

Here’s another installment in my continuing my series on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Communicators.

HABIT 4: THINK WIN-WIN
Covey says win-win is “a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit.” In the case of effective communication, that means keeping the other person in mind. Note that the habit says speak to the mutual benefit. That’s what writers call the “what” and the “so what.” What do you want to say? And so what does it mean to your audience?

How to incorporate it:
Communicating your point fearlessly but with consideration takes practice. Find someone you admire who does it well and become a student of their communication habits. Also, always put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Take a moment to consider an alternate angle, an unarticulated need or an opposing viewpoint. Make a list of win-win words and phrases that are mutually respectful. If you look closely you’ll see that I use words like “many” and “some” instead of “all” or “none.” Sometimes it just takes softening the tone, swapping exclusive words for inclusive ones, or leading with a more benefit-driven message.

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The Third Habit of Highly Effective Communicators

effective communication June 1st, 2009

Here’s another installment in my continuing my series on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Communicators.

HABIT 3: PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
This, says Covey, is where Habit 1 and Habit 2 come together. For effective communication, Habit 3 is focusing on the highest priorities — both yours and your listener/reader. Decide what is most important to communicate and spend your time saying only what needs to be said.

How to incorporate it:
Create a down-and-dirty outline by jotting down a few bullet points that relate to your topic. (Hint: Your topic is your one sentence to clarity from Habit 2.) If you’re having a conversation, obviously you won’t want to stop and create a written outline, but you can make a quick mental note of the three most important details. Share only what’s necessary at the time. Think you need to share more? Choose wisely or else you may become like the person who focuses on the most minute, irrelevant detail, such as, “There was this time I was at the store. Was it Kroger? No, it must have been Giant Eagle. No, no, it was Meijer. No, wait a minute, I’m pretty sure it was Kroger …” Nip off-topic thinking, speaking and writing in the bud. Focus instead on the top three, highest priority points. Your listeners/readers will thank you.

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