I really like a Starbucks Mocha Lite Frappucino from time to time. I really do. And I don’t even drink coffee other than those. Ever.

But one thing I really don’t like is a lot of the writing I see on Starbucks.com. In fact, I often use Starbucks in my workshops as an example of what not to do.

While I won’t give a full critique of their site, I will tell you that in addition to being very self-centric vs. customer-centric, they use passive voice to their detriment. In most instances, passive voice is difficult to read, hard to understand and nearly impossible to enjoy.

Now I know the subject of passive voice can make even the most astute grammar student’s eyes glaze over, so I’d like to address the issue in a way that’s easy to understand and remember. And, just for fun, I’ll use Starbucks to help in our little lesson today.

First, passive voice simply means this: The subject of the sentence is acted upon instead of taking the action.

Starbucks BEFORE: “A live webcast will be available the day of the meeting.”

My AFTER: “Watch the live webcast the day of the meeting.”

In the Starbucks “before” example, the copywriter writes in passive voice that:

• Uses more words than necessary
• Creates a formal tone
• Confuses the reader about what is happening when

In my “after” example, I use active voice to:

• Use just enough words to make the point
• Make it easy to quickly understand the information
• Tell the reader what to do

Words to watch for that hint of passive voice include: will be, am, is, was, were, are or been.

P.S. Thanks @natashaF8 for this idea on Twitter. Follow me on Twitter @getgreatcopy.

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Remember the old Wendy’s/Clara Peller “Where’s the beef?” commercial? The point Wendy’s was trying to make with that particular piece of advertising was that Wendy’s hamburgers were bigger and better than its competitors.

While conducting a content audit for a client, I recently visited several sites that reminded me of that famous commercial. These particular web sites left me asking, ”Where’s the information?”

Web sites that are lean on information may look visually appealing or be quick to put up and easy to maintain, but they often leave site visitors hungry for more. Much more.

In the examples I came across, sometimes there was an egregious lack of information. Like the site that had all the contact info — except a phone number.

Other times the lack of relevant content was a little more subtle, potentially causing a site visitor to miss an important service offering or guarantee — which could send them straight a competitor.

I’m convinced that lack of relevant information is a result of one of four things:

• Bad planning
• Poor copywriting
• Company-centric focus
• Fear of being transparent

One simple solution to strengthen your content offering is to make sure your copy answers six basic questions plus my “no-fail-get-to-the-core-issue” question:

1. Who?
2. What?
3. When?
4. Where?
5. Why?
6. How?
7. What’s in it for them?

And while I don’t usually tout my services in my blog posts, it may be worth mentioning that I offer a comprehensive copy critique that can help you avoid the “Where’s the information?” recoil from your site visitors.

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