I’ve been paying attention to how everyone from clients to clergy and teachers to toddlers communicate. And one thing I’ve noticed is that those who incorporate a personal story (theirs or someone else’s) capture — and retain — their audience’s interest.

Telling a personal story (and by personal, I mean sharing an experience related to what’s being shared with the audience) helps create an emotional connection between you and your audience. It puts your message into context but it does so in a way that’s relevant, engaging and memorable to the reader or listener.

Need some inspiration for how to infuse a little human interest into your copy? Read a newspaper, listen to a sermon, visit with a former soldier, or ask a child what they want to be when they grow up and why.

Possibly related posts

• Writing as a process (0)
• Why you should rework "fine" copy (0)
• Survey: Your opinion wanted (0)

Are you guilty or innocent of complicating your message and thereby making it less clear? Let’s find out.

Do you favor big words over small ones? If you say “utilize” instead of “use,” you’re guilty.

Have you created your own language by turning a noun into a verb? Really now, if you say “bulletize,” give yourself another guilty.

You’re guilty again if you craft sentences that rival those of Charles Dickens. Learn to self-edit (delete words and condense phrases) and to chop sentences into two or more thoughts.

Are you driven by your organization’s lexicon, throwing buzzwords and acronyms into every (or even a single) sentence? Guilty again. Save the jargon for emails to your boss. Instead, talk to your customers about what matters most to them in a way they (or even your own grandmother) can understand.

Post your worst sentences here and I’ll give a few of them a before-and-after makeover.

Possibly related posts

• How to make your everyday email more effective (0)
• Find some new words (1)
• “We just don’t have the budget for it …” (0)

Got this letter from Clif Bar in response to my inquiry about my favorite Nutz Over Chocolate Luna Bars. Nicely done, Clif Bar & Company.

Great copy notes:

• Sincere works
• Took responsibility
• Proactive in voice and tone
• Answered the unarticulated questions of their consumers
• Took a stance for quality

Dear Friends,

As athletes and outdoor adventurists, Kit and I are no strangers to challenging
situations.  They may be tough to get through, but they show us that we can achieve more than we ever
thought was possible.

Today, we’re facing a different kind of challenge.  Clif Bar expanded its voluntary recall due to a broader date range of potentially affected peanut products manufactured by Peanut Corporation of America, the focus of the FDA’s Salmonella investigation.

We know that our voluntary recall has shaken people’s confidence in our products.  And we are deeply sorry that it has caused concern and inconvenience among our consumers, retailers and business partners.

While there are many players in this complicated situation, we are not interested in finger pointing.

We are accountable for the food we make.  At this time, we can tell you that none of our recalled products has tested positive for Salmonella.  But in light of the FDA’s investigation and mounting consumer confusion, we are taking the following actions immediately:

Clif Bar is taking a break and temporarily suspending production and shipments of our recalled products with peanuts and peanut butter.  Now and during this break, consumers can enjoy our 91 other products that do not contain peanuts or peanut butter.

We’re reviewing our own business practices to ensure that we’re doing all we can to continue raising the bar in food quality and safety.

By doing this, we hope to cut through the confusion and give consumers peace of mind and confidence in future purchases of our products containing peanut ingredients.

In the coming months, the country’s food safety system will undergo intense scrutiny and potential changes.  We currently meet or exceed the food industry’s safety requirements, and we look to set and achieve higher standards than those required by governing bodies. 

We appreciate that you hold Clif Bar – and us personally – to high standards.  As we face this challenge head-on, we thank you for your understanding and the support you’ve given us over the years. 

Sincerely,

Gary Erickson & Kit Crawford
Co-Owners, Clif Bar & Company

Possibly related posts

• What’s your big, bad, ugly? (2)
• Unstick your writing (2)
• One sentence to clarity (0)

For many, many reasons, I’m an unabashed fan of publicity guru Marcia Yudkin. And, because I’m an affiliate of hers, I have access to some of her resources to share with my readers.

So, today, I’m making Marcia Yudkin my guest blogger and reprinting (with permission, of course) this article. (Be sure to check out the link at the bottom of the article for information about a very special report.)

Location, Location: Geography in Web Marketing and SEO
by Marcia Yudkin

When you’re hunting online for a roofer, bicycle repair shop or optometrist, one of the first screening criteria you use when looking at web sites is “Are they nearby?” You want that question answered in the first five seconds after landing on a company’s site.

Sounds obvious, right? Yet during my judging of sites for the Webby Awards this year (my eighth time), failing to state clearly and prominently where the business operates is a common error, made by architectural firms, real estate developers, a one-state restaurant directory, a regional chain of hospitals, environmental engineers and others.

If you work nationally or internationally, web visitors might not realize that unless you say something like “From our headquarters in St. Cloud, Minnesota, we work with clients throughout North America and Europe.” Or, “Thanks to telephone conference calls and web-based collaboration tools, we can serve you regardless of where you live.”

Specifying your location and service area also helps you rank higher when shoppers search for a provider via geographical words. When you have a location-relevant business, don’t use only one geographical phrase, use many of them.

For instance, let’s suppose you have a pest-control business in Milford, Connecticut and serve customers within a 20-mile radius of your headquarters. One option that would help you come up in web searches would be to list all the towns you service. You could place such a list in a sidebar column and introduce it with “Getting rid of bugs and rodents in…”

Besides naming towns where you operate, you should think of general terms for your area, including the name of the county, the nearest big city, town neighborhoods and any local nicknames for your surroundings, so that you incorporate phrases like “Greater New Haven,” “New Haven area,” “New Haven suburbs” and “Naugatuck Valley.”

Where should you insert your location terms when location is central to your business? Always insert your most important location term in at least these four places: 1)Your graphical top banner. This is the picture that appears not only on top of your home page but also on top of major every page of your site. 2) Your page title. This is the wording that shows up in the upper left corner of your visitor’s browser. 3) Along the bottom of every page (designers call this the “footer”) along with your telephone number. 4) On the Contact page.

In addition, search engine optimization experts recommend you include location words: 5) In the alt-tag for the site’s top banner. The alt-tag is the little label that shows up when a user puts their mouse over an image. 6) In alt-tags for other graphics and photos included in the site. 7) Wherever appropriate, in photo captions. A caption is the line or two below a photo that identifies what’s in it.

Finally, try to include at least your most important geographical term in page headlines and subheads. These should be coded with the html command “h1” and “h2,” respectively.

By taking these measures, you maximize the chances that people looking for what you sell where you sell it can find you online. You also maximize the chances that when they reach your site, they realize quickly that you operate in the area they’re searching for. You then have the opportunity to turn your web site visitor into a customer.

Marcia Yudkin is the author of 11 books and publisher of the popular newsletter, The Marketing Minute. Ideas and techniques for getting found in geographical searches are part of her report, “Do-It-Yourself SEO: 16 Simple Tweaks That Increase Search Engine Traffic to Your Site.” It’s easy to follow and just $29.95: http://www.1automationwiz.com/app/?Clk=2705549

Possibly related posts

• What’s your big, bad, ugly? (2)
• Out with the old, in with the review: The one thing your copy needs from you right now (0)
• Free keyword search tool (0)