While doing some research for an upcoming content project, I did a little poking around the About Us sections of some Fortune 100 companies.

Would you be surprised to learn that some of the biggest companies in the world use nondescript and innocuous language to describe themselves? I wouldn’t. It’s a comfortable place for many companies (and their copywriters) to be.

Phrases like “serving you in over 100 countries around the world,” “making great products for generations,” “dedicated to supporting,” and “our commitment to providing” say nothing of worth to your target audience. Worse, that kind of language does zip, zilch, nada to differentiate you from your competitors. Besides, who even talks like that in the real world?

Seth Godin says in marketing, if something makes you nervous, it’s probably a good idea. I say in copywriting, if you could write your Company Overview or About Us page in your sleep, rest assured that your audience will snooze, too, when they read it. If they read it.

Possibly related posts

• You know you need a professional writer when … (0)
• Writing as a process (0)
• What Carmelo Soprano knows about your audience that you should know (0)

I’m a creative communications opinionator. I tell people what I think of their marcom, newsletters, press releases and web content based on my 23 years of professional experience in featuring writing, PR and interactive copywriting.

Which is why I was thrilled to be asked my opinion for this year’s Web Marketing Association WebAwards. I gave a critical eye and honest opinion of more than two dozen interactive sites.

Some were for well-known brands. Some were not. But throughout the judging process I saw the good, the bad and the ugly.

So where did the bad and the ugly go wrong? Many in design and navigation, but most with content.

Although I’ve blogged about content mistakes before, let’s look at the top three things that make web content suck – and how to avoid them.

Mistake #1 – Not Being Conversational

Although brochureware sites are oh-so-1997, some companies still employ the technique. Or, worse, they write as though they are some kind of 1970s esoteric marketer:

“Welcome to our virtual oasis on the worldwide web, where you are free to browse at your leisure from the comfort of your home or office.”

Who talks like that? Nobody.

The whole idea behind “conversational” is that it’s an informal exchange of dialogue. You say something. They say something. See how it works?

Of course, your site visitor won’t talk back (well, they may on Twitter or Facebook) but you can act as if you’re having a real conversation. You can approach your content as though you’re talking to real people about things that matter to them.

Mistake #2 – Being Too Wordy

This isn’t a long vs. short copy question. No, too wordy, simply means using more words than you have to in order to say something.

My husband is famous for being, um, shall we say a bit windy? He’ll say something. Then say it again. And again. And yet again.

Unfortunately, the punch of what he originally said (which is usually quite smart) gets lost in the retelling.

Say what needs to be said. Then stop. This goes for the home page as well as the FAQs.

Mistake #3 – Not Being Relevant

I already wrote a six-part series on relevant content, so let me remind you that great web content (i.e., non-sucky web content) has to mean something to the reader.

Web content should answer all the questions a site visitor could have – and then some. I call these the unarticulated needs.

Lose the fluff and tell the reader what they want to know.

How does your copy fare? For more tips on getting great copy, take my quiz, the Get Great Copy Reality Check.

Possibly related posts

• 8 Ways to Help Your Copywriter (0)
• 3-step success formula for grabbing customers’ attention in a slower economy (0)
• Where’s the information? (Web content mistakes and how to avoid them.) (0)

From pseudodictionary to unword, the web is replete with sites dedicated to made-up words. TV personalities and sitcoms are famous for them, too. (Think Rachael Ray’s “fantabulous” and Archie Bunker’s “groinocologist.”) Made-up words have no doubt helped define pop culture for the better part of the last few decades.

Using made-up words is especially fun among family and friends. Our favorite is “musharoni pizza,” short for half mushroom, half pepperoni. It came about purely by accident, but it stuck and is now a standard at our house most Friday nights.

But take heed: made-up words have little to no place in your web copy. Words like “customerization,” and “dimensionalize” are not so much clever as cute and do little in the way of optimizing search or helping customers understand who you are and what you have to offer.

And, while you’re at it, be wary of overused words such as “solutions” and “optimized.” Best way to do that is to speak to the benefit of the customer … not to yourself or your company.

Possibly related posts

• Writing as a process (0)
• Writing advice from Dr.Seuss (0)
• Write, rewrite and rewrite (0)

I’m feeling a bit snarky today so rather than fight it, I’m just going to embrace it.

I get snarky when the sun doesn’t shine enough, when people say one thing and do another, and whenever I hear someone whine.

Especially when I hear the whine.

Like the little girl in the post office the other day who kept demanding things unreasonably and disrespectfully of her mother who, of all things, gave in each and every time. Like the customer service person who talks about “them” in the order entry department as if they’re from another world instead of the same company. Like the grocery store clerk who goes on and on about how he has to work a whole four-hour shift and whine, blah, blah, blah, whine, without so much as a hello to, ahem, the customer.

See. Told you I was snarky.

What makes me even snarkier is when I hear four famous little words … “It’s not our fault.”

Oh, you don’t even have to hear those words verbatim to “hear” them, if you know what I mean. Plenty of companies imply it in their copy (ah, finally, the copy connection).

Here are some of the words, phrases and practices that scream “It’s not our fault …”

• But …
• We reserve the right to …
• Unless …
• Until …
• Restocking fee
• Saying you have a 100% return guarantee but then forcing your customer to take a merchandise exchange

Playing the blame game in any way does nothing to create relationship, dialogue or loyalty with your audience.

Instead, take a customer service cue from online shoe seller Zappos.com who happily refunds your purchase price and ships to and from for free. Or from online cosmetics giant Sephora.com who cheerfully and promptly replaces or refunds merchandise — no questions asked.

Good customer service words, phrases and practices include:

• Free
• Guaranteed
• No questions asked
• Just for you … (or any variation of “exclusively for you”)
• Being clear about what you will do and then doing it — whether it’s making a return, calling back within a certain time or sending an email when out-of-stock merchandise is back in stock

That kind of service — and copy — says it all.

Possibly related posts

• 3-step success formula for grabbing customers’ attention in a slower economy (0)
• Out with the old, in with the review: The one thing your copy needs from you right now (0)
• Write with care (0)