As I write this in early August, I’ve seen—and I kid you not—Christmas decorations and ornaments in a nationwide retail establishment. We live at break-neck speed, rushing through the months, seasons and years as though stopping to breathe would likely kill us rather than sustain us. Chaos nary describes the hurry-up pace our lives have become.

Unfortunately, the worst of the time for that kind of madness is at the holidays. And the choicest victims are (who else?) women. Business, life and mom coach Christine Kinney says, “Year after year, many of us ‘lose it’ during the holiday season. We become overwhelmed by having too much to do in too little time. As a result, we stress-out, overeat, over-spend and come to dread the holidays.”

Kinney says the holidays don’t have to be that way. By simplifying and becoming more focused, she says the holidays truly can be the proverbial “most wonderful time of the year.”

Here are Kinney’s 10 holiday survival tips:

1. Assess and understand what’s really important to you. Do some soul-searching to figure out what really matters most. Stop doing things because you feel obligated, because that’s the way your parents did them, or because that’s the way you’ve always done them. It’s okay to say “no” and create your own traditions instead.
2. Set a goal. Define what a successful holiday would look like to your family. Complete this sentence: “This holiday season I want to focus on…” You might find that you really want to share more family time, spend less money and enjoy being present with each other.
3. Create a plan. Stop trying to do it all. Prioritize what you really want. Eliminate what’s unimportant. Then turn your priorities into an action plan using resources such as www.organizedchristmas.com.
4. Establish a budget. Plan ahead so you won’t be surprised come January by a small envelope with a big credit card bill. Set a firm spending budget—and stick to it. Remember to include non-gift holiday expenses for food, beverages and decorations.
5. Start early. Get as much done ahead of time as you can to help ease last-minute stress and give you more time to enjoy family, friends and what matters most to you.
6. Ask for help. Delegate and share tasks. For example, host a cookie baking night where everyone not only has a great time together, but also accomplishes their holiday baking at the same time.
7. Set yourself up for success. Share your holiday vision. Let everyone in your life know that this is the year you really want to enjoy the holidays and what that means to you. Expect some resistance because change can be difficult for some. Just remember your goal is to focus on meaningful pursuits.
8. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Whenever possible, if there’s an easier way to accomplish something, do it. Most likely no one will notice you didn’t make the appetizers from scratch or you didn’t wrap the gifts just so. Perfectionism can lead to frustration. Be smart about shopping, too. Don’t fight “mall madness” when you can order the same items online. Avoid peak shopping times in the evenings and on weekends. And, if you need to, hire out some holiday tasks such as cooking or decorating.
9. Put yourself first. Your body and mind will thank you to take good care of you. Get plenty of rest, eat well and keep up with (or start) your exercise routine.
10. Ask yourself “How’s it going?” Pay attention to how you’re feeling both emotionally and physically. Before you get stressed out and eat your way through a dozen cut-out cookies, create a stress-reduction plan. Whether it’s taking a hot bath, a catnap, a dog walk or a deep breath, make sure you know what you will do when you start to feel yourself tense up.